"I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred
Father Figure sprung into being fully formed, spatula scepter in hand, when the first Dad uttered the sacred maxim: "Hi, hungry, I'm Dad!" Armed with groan-worthy puns and a thermometer no one is allowed to touch, Father Figure watches over Dads and kids of any age, reassuring all that "The bod you got is the bod that rocks." Also that maybe it's time to flip that burger.
Also Known As
God of Dad Bods, King of the Barbecue
"I'm just resting my eyes."